Hi everyone,

I wasn’t true to my promise of writing over the winter break, though I’m not shaming myself since it was spent in the best ways. I flew back to the states mid-December and enjoyed three weeks of visiting friends and family I hadn’t seen in a while, ending lots of comfort American food, watching numerous movies, and cuddling my pets.  There wasn’t much conscious time for reflection, although there was some. I made an effort to be present in the moments with loved ones whom I’ve missed. My biggest accomplishment was actually finishing the novel I started before I went to Copenhagen the first time — that tells you how much free time I had or how much I the idea of pleasure reading abhorred me with all the required readings last semester held. I’ll take the time in this blog post to do some reflections before class begins in a couple of days.

The first reflection can be summed up in saying that I don’t know as much as I thought I did. Or I’m a lot more confused than I thought I was. Compared to high school, I felt fairly confident in my knowledge of life and my place in the word. Months later and through experiences and meeting people and mind-opening classes, I’ve found myself often questioning things as well as looking at things from different perspectives. In no way is this a negative revelation. I am happy that last year and into this year, I’m expanding my mind and becoming more aware of things. I’m so grateful for incredibly knowledgable professors and for my travels to unveil the beauty and reality of the world.

Last semester, I figured out that being comfortable with being alone with your thoughts is important — through the good and bad. I found myself being very conscious of the time alone with my thought. The phrase “love yourself” is so constantly thrown around I never saw it as anything other than maybe a body positivity phrase. Body positivity is important and something I try and practice, but that phrase coined a new meaning when all of the sudden I saw it as loving your personality, your mind, and your soul. That sounds quite out reading, but nevertheless, I find that true and something I hope to explore more in 2019.

Going along with the last point, I believe that thoughts matter. One day in yoga, my instructor was saying that your brain has to focus on something at all times. While she was talking about focusing on our breathing during poses, it made me wonder what my brain focuses on in any given moment in a day. My mom always talks about self-fulfilling prophesy and I believe that to be true. If my thoughts are negative, it severely impacts my mood, activities, day, week, etc. I want my thoughts to be reflective of the moments as they are happening through a positive lens. In that way, I stay focused on life as it is happening and hopefully fulfill my ideas of happiness and success.

Relating more to being independent and traveling, I’ve found myself embracing flexibility more. I’ve always prided myself as a planner which for me is a positive quality since I’m able to manage my time well and ultimately save myself from a lot of difficulties that may occur. That being said, I’ve allowed myself to let go a bit. If someone asked me to go somewhere with a 30-minute notice, I would rarely hesitate to say yes. Before arriving in  Berlin, we hadn’t figured out our exact transportation plan into the city, but I didn’t mind whatsoever. I was confident in my new traveling abilities that we would make it there. I have a new found pride in my ability to function as a semi-adult.

Of course, there are many other things I have learned about myself, the world, and life, and that won’t stop after one semester.

Here’s to growing up.

Vi ses!

Chrisann